IS THAT ME?

For months now, I just haven’t felt like myself. So many different parts of my health have been off for so long, that I feel like I shifted into this place of acceptance, but stopped pushing myself beyond that. I’ve still been my happy optimistic self, but things have just been a bit off for a long time. I don’t think I have shared all of the details with you, but hey, why not, it’s kind of a thing I do.

So, for a year (as you know) my diaphragm has been spazzing out of control and I haven’t been able to make any real progression in my running. In fact, Seawheeze was a pretty big indicator that I have, in fact, regressed pretty greatly; in speed anyway.

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In my last half marathon, I managed to run a 1:45, but last week in Vancouver, I shuffled my way to a 2:12 finish.The same finishing time I had at my very first half marathon over 5 years ago.

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At first, I saw this as total defeat. But the more I think about it, the more I realize this was actually pretty legit. I haven’t been able to run more than 5-6k at a time for months. And even then, I take breaks with lots of pain, and I can’t run two days in a row. I kept going out once in a while only because I crave running, and continued to think and hope that “maybe it won’t hurt this time.”  It always does, but I keep going. The first time I ran a half marathon, I had obviously trained my butt off for that 2:12 finish. To think that I finished a harder course in the same time WITHOUT the whole training part, says that I really haven’t regressed as much as I think. ALSO, the pain I had during Seawheeze, is what I would call gentle. It wasn’t the debilitating kind of pain that has been stopping me in my tracks, it was just a slight and inconvenient pain.

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The thing is, now that it was so quiet, I could really see just how out of shape I have become.  BUT IT WAS GENTLE, so I’m happy. I am going to continue to be diligent in my physiotherapy, and hopefully I can complete the Scotiabank Toronto Waterfront Half Marathon (instead of the full marathon) in October with a bit more speed back under my belt. I haven’t felt this optimistic in a long time. My plan for the next 8 weeks is written and ready to go. WINNING PART 1.

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Sidenote: Aug 19th was Josh’s 30th bday so I surprised him with a flight to join me in Vancouver, and I extended my trip post-Seawheeze. On his first day, Christina and I obv made him wait in line with us for 45 mins for gelato…

NEXT, I have been dealing with some seriously inconvenient woman problems. I’m talking 2 week periods, followed by 2 weeks off, ON REPEAT. I’m pretty certain that the birth control pill got me into this mess (I’ve been off it for 2.5 years now), and of course my doctor sees that as the solution as well (classic GP), but I disagree. I’ve seen my friend the ND and we’ve tried a few things that worked on and off, but ultimately the problem persisted. Now I am taking 2837829 supplements (okay, 3) that my sister suggested (they worked for her similar issues), and I can already see and feel the difference in 2 short weeks. Period seems more normal, my skin is more clear and my mood is better. WINNING PART 2.

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NEXT, you know I lost my job in May when our office closed very suddenly. Emotionally, my friends from work and I were all pretty big messes for a long time, but we have all slowly pulled up our big girl pants and moved on. I am starting school in 2 weeks, and I’m SO looking forward to it. WINNING PART 3.

LASTLY, I found out a few months ago with IgG testing that gluten, wheat, dairy and eggs do not agree with my body. It really helped me to understand why I always look 6 months pregnant..hah. (I will do a more detailed blog with info on this test and all my results another time!) Before the wedding, cutting these things from my diet was OUT of the question, but I am ready to start with one (gluten, I think…) and work my way down and see if I feel an improvement. NOT YET WINNING.

Long story short, I’m feeling so much better and optimistic about my health and about where things are going in general. And when I feel good about things, I like to chat. And that is a good sign for the ol’ blog!

HAPPY MONDAY!

See you soon,

Danielle

xo

 

 

I’m back, I’m married, blah blah blah. Come look at pics!

Hi!!!!!

I am alive.

Blogging obviously was not much of a priority as the weeks leading up to the wedding got fewer. I also wasn’t really interested in blogging a bunch of stress out at everyone. No job, can’t run, wedding chaos, you get it! Things have settled, the wedding went beautifully, and I am hoping to get back into a routine. I am indeed going back to school in September so I will enjoy the next few weeks with a flexible schedule before I welcome a bit more chaos back into my days.  I am still battling my diaphragm injury, or whatever you might call it. I’m seeing a physio who really thinks she can help me, which is most definitely a welcome change from the “I have no idea what’s wrong with you” responses I’ve had for the past YEAR. I can’t believe it’s been going on this long.  Seawheeze is in 9 SLEEPS, and while I will probably be crawling to the finish line (7k is generally my max tolerance currently, with a few outlier runs here and there), I’m going to have fun anyway. I am also registered for the Scotiabank Toronto Waterfront Marathon in October, and am part of the Digital Champions crew, but I’m not sure how realistic that is at this point. A bit depressing.

ANYWAY, back to wedding stuff. (Today actually marks 1 year since we got engaged and 1 month already since the wedding. WHOA.)

I get a ton of questions about what we did and how we did it, so I have been thinking about doing a bit of a series on the blog here with a few different posts on different parts of the wedding. The dress, the decor, the vendors, things I would change, etc. It will be super fun for me and probably pretty annoying for most of you, so let’s do it!

For now I will share some guest pics as well as the teasers we have received from our photographer so far. Our images take 14-16 weeks (YIKES!), so this is most of what we have to tie us over for now!

Be back soon!

Danielle

xo

 

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Worse before it’s better

You know when everything is going so well, for so long, you start to wondering when something’s going to give? When the ups have been so plentiful that you know a down is on the horizon? This is how I’ve been feeling for a while. And now, the down, of course, has presented itself.

It started with my body being uncooperative, and the decision not to run the Ottawa Marathon this coming weekend, after weeks of hard work. I can’t run more than 2km without intense pain, so 42.2k just isn’t an option at this point. I saw this as a relatively minor “down” in relation to all of the “ups,” and something I was prepared to work through.

Last Saturday night, Josh and I had our wedding shower. We did one together with lots of food and wine and it was SO FUN! I didn’t want to have a typical wedding shower, you know the kind that are at 2pm in the afternoon, on a Sunday, in a room full of women you don’t  know, playing games you don’t want to play?  Yeah those. Not for me.  So we had a great party with our closest friends and family instead. It was alarming how many people said “see you in a few weeks!” referring to our upcoming wedding day. (I still have 7 weeks, people!) Josh and I left feeling so lucky and so loved and without a care in the world.

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Tuesday afternoon started as a regular day a work, but by 4pm, everything was flipped on it’s head. Without getting into the gritty details, my co-workers and I were told that our office would be closing. That Friday. Happy Long Weekend guys, it’s never-ending.

So what does this mean?

It means we likely can’t go on our honeymoon anymore, we had planned to go to Thailand for the month of July.

It means I likely can’t go back to school in September, the plan was to take my current job to a part-time role in the Fall.

It means I don’t get to work with my best friends everyday. We were a small office of 7 and we truly love being around each other.

It means there’s a black cloud following me everywhere, and I feel like Eeyore.

Initially it looked like I would be able to transition smoothly into a new job that would allow me to go part-time in September when school rolled around, but moments ago I found out that’s not happening, and things are starting to sink in. I’m trying to make sense of it all, trying to understand why it had to be this way (it didn’t have to be this way if you ask me), but right now I feel so sad and so angry. Running would usually be my outlet for this kinda thing, but, well, we all know how that’s going. So I’m writing instead.

I know there is a bright side, and eventually I will see it, but right now, I’m just a bit sad that the day I picked up my wedding dress was also my first day of unemployment.

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Anyway, that’s my update! Sorry it’s so depressing.

Here’s to unemployment day 2! I hear it gets worse before it gets better.

Wish me luck!

Talk soon,

Danielle

xo