IS THAT ME?

For months now, I just haven’t felt like myself. So many different parts of my health have been off for so long, that I feel like I shifted into this place of acceptance, but stopped pushing myself beyond that. I’ve still been my happy optimistic self, but things have just been a bit off for a long time. I don’t think I have shared all of the details with you, but hey, why not, it’s kind of a thing I do.

So, for a year (as you know) my diaphragm has been spazzing out of control and I haven’t been able to make any real progression in my running. In fact, Seawheeze was a pretty big indicator that I have, in fact, regressed pretty greatly; in speed anyway.

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In my last half marathon, I managed to run a 1:45, but last week in Vancouver, I shuffled my way to a 2:12 finish.The same finishing time I had at my very first half marathon over 5 years ago.

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At first, I saw this as total defeat. But the more I think about it, the more I realize this was actually pretty legit. I haven’t been able to run more than 5-6k at a time for months. And even then, I take breaks with lots of pain, and I can’t run two days in a row. I kept going out once in a while only because I crave running, and continued to think and hope that “maybe it won’t hurt this time.”  It always does, but I keep going. The first time I ran a half marathon, I had obviously trained my butt off for that 2:12 finish. To think that I finished a harder course in the same time WITHOUT the whole training part, says that I really haven’t regressed as much as I think. ALSO, the pain I had during Seawheeze, is what I would call gentle. It wasn’t the debilitating kind of pain that has been stopping me in my tracks, it was just a slight and inconvenient pain.

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The thing is, now that it was so quiet, I could really see just how out of shape I have become.  BUT IT WAS GENTLE, so I’m happy. I am going to continue to be diligent in my physiotherapy, and hopefully I can complete the Scotiabank Toronto Waterfront Half Marathon (instead of the full marathon) in October with a bit more speed back under my belt. I haven’t felt this optimistic in a long time. My plan for the next 8 weeks is written and ready to go. WINNING PART 1.

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Sidenote: Aug 19th was Josh’s 30th bday so I surprised him with a flight to join me in Vancouver, and I extended my trip post-Seawheeze. On his first day, Christina and I obv made him wait in line with us for 45 mins for gelato…

NEXT, I have been dealing with some seriously inconvenient woman problems. I’m talking 2 week periods, followed by 2 weeks off, ON REPEAT. I’m pretty certain that the birth control pill got me into this mess (I’ve been off it for 2.5 years now), and of course my doctor sees that as the solution as well (classic GP), but I disagree. I’ve seen my friend the ND and we’ve tried a few things that worked on and off, but ultimately the problem persisted. Now I am taking 2837829 supplements (okay, 3) that my sister suggested (they worked for her similar issues), and I can already see and feel the difference in 2 short weeks. Period seems more normal, my skin is more clear and my mood is better. WINNING PART 2.

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NEXT, you know I lost my job in May when our office closed very suddenly. Emotionally, my friends from work and I were all pretty big messes for a long time, but we have all slowly pulled up our big girl pants and moved on. I am starting school in 2 weeks, and I’m SO looking forward to it. WINNING PART 3.

LASTLY, I found out a few months ago with IgG testing that gluten, wheat, dairy and eggs do not agree with my body. It really helped me to understand why I always look 6 months pregnant..hah. (I will do a more detailed blog with info on this test and all my results another time!) Before the wedding, cutting these things from my diet was OUT of the question, but I am ready to start with one (gluten, I think…) and work my way down and see if I feel an improvement. NOT YET WINNING.

Long story short, I’m feeling so much better and optimistic about my health and about where things are going in general. And when I feel good about things, I like to chat. And that is a good sign for the ol’ blog!

HAPPY MONDAY!

See you soon,

Danielle

xo

 

 

Comments

  1. Speaking of chatting…It has been an obscene amount of time since I have seen you. Let’s do lunch soon, ok?

  2. Wow girlie! Lots going on. As a girl who has navigated lots of medical issues (still doing it) it will get better. Sometimes it just takes longer than we hope.

    Also all your seawheeze pictures are ADORABLE!!

    • Thanks Krysten!!

      Seawheeze always makes for the best pics! Mountains and bright colours!

  3. That’s a TON to have thrown your way all at once.
    I, too, am navigating some health issues and I’m doing the best I can to stay positive and advocate for myself with my doc.

  4. While reading your story, I got really inspired. You are a blessing to other people and that’s what really matters here. Gaining confidence is what you can teach us and that’s what I learned from this post of yours. Thanks for sharing.