You know when everything is going so well, for so long, you start to wondering when something’s going to give? When the ups have been so plentiful that you know a down is on the horizon? This is how I’ve been feeling for a while. And now, the down, of course, has presented itself.
It started with my body being uncooperative, and the decision not to run the Ottawa Marathon this coming weekend, after weeks of hard work. I can’t run more than 2km without intense pain, so 42.2k just isn’t an option at this point. I saw this as a relatively minor “down” in relation to all of the “ups,” and something I was prepared to work through.
Last Saturday night, Josh and I had our wedding shower. We did one together with lots of food and wine and it was SO FUN! I didn’t want to have a typical wedding shower, you know the kind that are at 2pm in the afternoon, on a Sunday, in a room full of women you don’t know, playing games you don’t want to play? Yeah those. Not for me. So we had a great party with our closest friends and family instead. It was alarming how many people said “see you in a few weeks!” referring to our upcoming wedding day. (I still have 7 weeks, people!) Josh and I left feeling so lucky and so loved and without a care in the world.
Tuesday afternoon started as a regular day a work, but by 4pm, everything was flipped on it’s head. Without getting into the gritty details, my co-workers and I were told that our office would be closing. That Friday. Happy Long Weekend guys, it’s never-ending.
So what does this mean?
It means we likely can’t go on our honeymoon anymore, we had planned to go to Thailand for the month of July.
It means I likely can’t go back to school in September, the plan was to take my current job to a part-time role in the Fall.
It means I don’t get to work with my best friends everyday. We were a small office of 7 and we truly love being around each other.
It means there’s a black cloud following me everywhere, and I feel like Eeyore.
Initially it looked like I would be able to transition smoothly into a new job that would allow me to go part-time in September when school rolled around, but moments ago I found out that’s not happening, and things are starting to sink in. I’m trying to make sense of it all, trying to understand why it had to be this way (it didn’t have to be this way if you ask me), but right now I feel so sad and so angry. Running would usually be my outlet for this kinda thing, but, well, we all know how that’s going. So I’m writing instead.
I know there is a bright side, and eventually I will see it, but right now, I’m just a bit sad that the day I picked up my wedding dress was also my first day of unemployment.
Anyway, that’s my update! Sorry it’s so depressing.
Here’s to unemployment day 2! I hear it gets worse before it gets better.
Wish me luck!